Ideas For The Bedtime Battle

Sometimes your young child just does not want to go to bed or fall asleep and it can be very hard when you need to get sleep yourself so you can do “all the things” the next day. Here are some ideas to try.

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Why Do Kids Want To Be Awake

As a mom of eight kids, it took me some time to figure this out. In my opinion, all kids think there is a party going on while they are sleeping and they don't want to miss anything or they feel like it is a punishment to go to bed. With my two oldest kids, I had to learn and figure out how to handle the bedtime battle.

Have A Bedtime Rule

I had a rule, “Put your head on your pillow and be quiet.” It works because I am not asking them to sleep. I found out, when I said, “Go to sleep.” my child would fight harder because that is the thing they did not want to do. It's very simple and to the point.

A Bedtime Routine Helps

With my first two children, we didn't have a routine yet, every night was different bedtime, different order – we might pray first then put on pajamas. They did not know what to expect and it felt like chaos to them.

I found out, by trial and error, that it helps to have a bedtime routine and keep it the same every night before bed. Example: pajamas on, brush teeth, get your non spill water for the night to have next to the bed, listen to Mom read stories, listen to Dad read the Bible, prayer time with the family, use the bathroom, head on your pillow and be quiet.

Ideas For When Your Child Cries At Night

Even when you have a perfect bedtime routine and do everything right, sometimes they still want to be awake. They may even cry about it. You need to do something to help calm the chaos so they can fully relax and sleep.

Ditch The Toddler Bed

When my child would cry at night, I would lay down next to him and rub his back (while praying for him in my mind) and that helps him relax and fall asleep. If he asked me not to rub his back, I would just lay next to him. When he was asleep, I would sneak away to my own bed. If he woke up and cried, I would go lay down next to him and do it again. This worked very well. I found that we both had much more sleep in the night this way.

I found that it was very uncomfortable to do this with the side rail of the toddler bed between us. I decided to take the frame out for some nights to test a theory I had. Yes, the child calms faster and sleeps better / longer when he has me right next to him without something between us.

This was hard on my pride at first because my little boy's bedroom was not as cute and I had spent money on that toddler bed. But, in the end, sleep was more important for sure! By my 5th child, we just went straight to a twin size mattress on the floor and skipped the toddler bed step.

Talk Through The Child's Day

Sometimes, I would have to talk to him quietly at first and just tell him what he did that day, like this. “You need to put your head on your pillow and be quiet now. I will tell you what you did today… You woke up and got dressed and ate breakfast, then you went outside and played in the sand box and made a nice sand castle. You were such a good boy and used the potty two times today. You were so nice and gave me a hug when I made your favorite lunch food…” That helps their brain to think about routines and processes in order of what happened and the order calms the chaos and relaxes them. But you have to talk quietly and slowly, as calmly as possible.

When you are talking about him, he wants to hear what you are saying, especially if it's good things about him or his favorite toys or characters or things he likes, but you are talking quiet, so he has to quiet down to hear you. It's a little trick I picked up over the years.

Try To Keep Sleep Times The Same

Another thing that helps is to have a set time to fall asleep, like 9 pm. A set time to wake up, like 8 am. A set nap time, like 1 pm to 2 pm, for example. Of course, some factors will change things. If your child is sick, he will need more sleep. If your child is going through a growth spurt, you will notice them eating a lot more than usual in a day, so I would lay them down for bed or nap at the same time, but let them sleep longer on those days. As they age, they may require less sleep or no nap. And if you have life disturbances, like vacation, job changes, moving, etc.

Conclusion

I just wanted to give you a few quick tips for bedtime that you can try. I hope something here will help you. I would love to know. You can leave a comment or email me at amy@neededinthehome.com.

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